Define 'Romantic'
by brumal
Summary: Yes, it is an adjective. It has a definition. It can mean a lot. Can you define it for me? Just this word: romantic. Actually, you'll find that it is rather hard. Especially if you asked two particular boys to define it! [SasuNaru, Shonen Ai, Oneshot]


**A/N: Pure crack. Maybe not so much crack. I don't know, I'm not expecting much from this, but enjoy anyway.**

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Define 'romantic.' Romantic. A word. Usually people have a fixed image in their mind when it is mentioned. What is 'romantic'?

A romantic first kiss, many people would define, is awkward and shy. Someone would lean forward, and the other would follow suit. It would be chaste and somewhat scary, but wonderful all the same. It would be something they would remember forever and cherish forever. Their hearts would flutter and they will feel so wonderful! And they would blush afterward and smile.

A romantic first kiss, Sasuke and Naruto would define, is awkward, yes, but shy? Their definition was for one to clamber on top of a table and to stare at each other with such killer intent that sparks would appear. And they would glare at each other, unmoving, even from the closeness. And they would breathe down each other's neck, scowling. And this random guy from the table below them would accidentally shove the one on the table and you would end up with a first kiss. It would be mortifying and disgusting all the same. And they would quickly draw back, revolted by what just happened. So one of them would swear to kill the other one for kissing him. And they would most definitely _not_ blush.

A romantic conversation, many people would define, is sweet and caring. It would be many whispers in ears, and many smiles. And they would giggle as they talked about nothing in particular, only sitting there comfortably, gazing in each other's eyes. Then their hearts would fill with such caring and sweetness, that nothing else in the world would matter.

A romantic conversation, Sasuke and Naruto would define, is loud and unruly. The conversation would consist of many insults and screams at each other. And you will hear many childish insults that make no sense. And they would argue until anyone within a three kilometer range would try to get away. So they would glare and scowl at each other, until you were almost certain they would smolder from the heat. Then, somehow, it would all end in a fight to the death.

A romantic meal, many people would define, would be quiet and courteous. Two people will sit down and order their meal. They would chat idly while they wait for their food. And they would act civilly toward each other. Perhaps there would even be a candle or two, just for the atmosphere of it all. And when the meal was over, someone would escort the other home, and perhaps steal a small kiss.

A romantic meal, Sasuke and Naruto would define, would be anything _but_ civil and calm. They will sit down at some ramen stand, or in particular, Ichiraku's, and they would order. Yet somehow they would end up sitting next to each other, and that was never a good sign. And some idiot would swallow up bowl after bowl of food and the other boy would scold and frown. Then a mess would occur as one of them complained and by some miracle, it would always end up in a fight. So both of them would exit the stand huffily, planning out revenge sometime soon.

A romantic date, many people would define, is pleasant and beautiful. There would be many walks down calm parks, or strolls by the edges of a pond, or lake. And they would walk close to each other shyly. Sometimes they would talk quietly to each other, a smile always on their lips. Or maybe even a flower would be given. Laughs would be heard frequently and the dying sound of a giggle. And no one would get mad, and in the end, both would be very happy.

A romantic date, Sasuke and Naruto would define, is bruising and distracting. A day would begin and immediately, a small quarrel would start. Somewhere between training and not training, an unofficial spar to the end of the world would begin. And kicks and punches, spats and more insults, and some other odds and ends would be thrown in. And somewhere between surrendering and dying, the fight would be ended roughly and both would be reprimanded for their immaturity.

A romantic promise, many people would define, would definitely be a tear invoking scene. One would lean close to the other's ear and whisper, oh so lightly, their promise. And emotions would rush and tears would fall. And a cry would fly from someone's throat, unbelieving. A nod would be exchanged, to confirm that it was a true promise and a very emotional hug would follow.

A romantic promise, Sasuke and Naruto would define, is tear invoking as well, but not for the same reason. It may be because of the pain and blood from scary looking needles or maybe because of the fact that one of them was dying. It would be uncomfortable, because both of them would resemble pin cushions, with needles sticking out of them, through them, in them, whatever. And blood would trickle everywhere and one of them would weakly say something while resting on the lap of the other. They would say something softly and faintly. The surviving one would scream and turn demonic. Then he would assault the attacker viciously. It wasn't pretty.

A romantic life, many people would define, is when two people can live together forever and ever. Happily ever after. A few sparse arguments here and there, a few months apart, a lot of kisses and hugs. Happily ever after. A story book ending. A faerie tale ending. The end. Happily ever after.

A romantic life, Sasuke and Naruto would define, is not 'Happily ever after.' It is harsh and evil, long and hard, bitter and terrible. It would mean having to run away for power, and having a group of people hunt your sorry backside back. It means to have to fight each other to the death, to have flashbacks of your childhood, to feel again, to break bonds, to cry, to fight, the punch, to kick, to faint, to die, to cry again, to run away, to never look back. And it would not be 'Happily ever after' because eventually, someone was going to get dragged back. And eventually someone will die. Of old age, of a fight to the end, of anything. And eventually one of them will die.

And there will be tears, more flashbacks, some laughs, some memories, some bitter words, some scolding, more tears, more tears. And it would not be 'Happily ever after.'

But it would be a romantic life for the two of them.

And here you wonder about their definition. It must be really screwed up. This definition of 'romantic'. What is it? You can't define it. But from their way of describing it, they must be really messed up.

'Romantic.' Define it for me. What is it? Is it sweet and charming or bitter and cold?

'Romantic.' Define it.

Can you? You can't.

So you decide.

Does Sasuke and Naruto have a romantic relationship?

Maybe.

It depends on how weird your definition is.


End file.
